I am going to be posting on this more regularly now. I understand now that I do not have this blog just to make a really good friend happy, but to make my future wife happy. Yes, apparently Dania is going to somehow win my heart and convince me to marry her. Part of her plan includes spending "personal loving dancing instruction time" to help me realize how fun dancing can be. I'm not sure how this is going to work out, but I have done my best to dissuade her and she remains persistent. Let me relate the story...
We were in Nick Lewis' car on our way to tunnel singing (which you all should come to, by the way). We were talking about the three categories of David's personality: those that drive Dania insane, those that make her sad, and the rest that she just loves (this last is the smallest category, I think). We had discussed earlier in the day why I didn't take a girl to Homecoming, and this was the perfect example of an aspect that makes her sad. She insisted that she would teach me how to enjoy dancing. I said that I had already attended a dance hosted by her, so how could she show me any better than that? She responded that she hadn't spent "personal loving dancing instruction time" at that dance. Suddenly, David was very afraid.
So we continued on our way, Dania trying her best to convince me. She brought up that the point that there are two types of dancing: the type that makes you look cool and the type that the entire point is to make you look like a fool. Will tried to help me out here and intervened in the conversation, switching the subject to learning how to do the cool type of dancing. Unfortunately, Dania then said that when she got married she would take swing dancing lessons with her husband. Nick, being the great friend that he is, told me that I could never get married to Dania, who immediately refuted that statement. The "personal loving dancing instruction time" was brought up, reinforcing my initial fear of the phrase. Dania doggedly pursued the notion that she was going to marry me. When I said I was suddenly glad I was leaving later for my mission, thus giving Dania more time to find someone else, she said she would go on a mission while I was on mine and it would all work out. I then postulated that I would likely have at least a few weeks to find a wife between when I got back and when she did. She responded that she would get injured/sick and have to come home early. You can imagine my shock and surprise at the level of commitment (or at least you can if you know me, and if you are reading this you probably do).
Looking back on it, I see the errors I made. I upset her by 1) not posting on this blog regularly enough, and 2) not appreciating dancing. I presented wooing me as an extremely difficult challenge. I should have known that would only encourage her. Gentlemen reading this blog: learn from my mistakes. Steel yourselves. Learn to be tactful. Often, a lack of tact will help your cause, but sometimes, as illustrated here, it turns out to do the opposite.
So yes, all you other ladies out there, I am taken. Against my will, my heart is no longer mine to give out. My condolences to your broken hearts, but I wasn't expecting this any more than you were.
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